THIS Again.

Konstanz, Germany

So we decided to take the ferryboat over to Konstanz, after all, but only after listening to Jorge whine something about "but I just DID this!", to which the summary reply was "well, then you shouldn't have suggested it, dopeface, because we are having fun on the boat". We ate cookies and expensive, contraband Peanut M&Ms on this boat, pausing long enough to get someone to take our pikshur. I have already posted said pikshur, but here it is again for your amusement:



Awww...intrepid multinationals. My neck is inclining, tempted to devour Kristina's entire body starting at the shoulder.

So we got to Konstanz, got lost immediately, and ended up driving the wrong way up a pedestrian only street. I don't know how you can drive the wrong way up a pedestrian only street, really, because don't the pedestrians presumably go both ways? But we did it, and there was much laughing and shrieking (by me) and only the tiiiiniest bit of suppressed cursing (by Juan) before we found a place to park. (Why does it cost the GDP of some small African countries to park in Europe? Fricking ridiculous, say I.)

I'm gonna be honest, guys - I don't remember much of what we did in Konstanz. However, I am absolutely positive that that is because we didn't do much of anything in Konstanz. There was more Weihnachtsferien, so I wandered up and down looking at all the little stalls selling wollen mittens and Christmas ornaments and healing stones and keychains. I drooled over the smell of heisse Maroni, which I guess are caramel-covered hot peanuts (but I was already feeling the effects of the Walmart food and my chest pains told me to steer clear of caramel). We somehow ended up at this bell? which is admittedly a very nice bell but we had no idea what the hell it was there for or why it was outside the church.



I suppose I could have asked someone who spoke German, like the people I was with or something...but I was content to see the first word and start screaming "FREIHEIT!" at the top of my lungs. ELEUTHERIA! See? it's in my blood.

Juan is huge. I am titchysmall. My purse says KERRY EDWARDS on it.

Konstanz was nice, though. Other than getting lost and not finding a place to park and the bell, the only interesting thing about it was that I got in trouble for jaywalking. I crossed the street while the sign had the little red man - in Madrid, I would like to point out, stopping for anything short of an 18-wheeler barreling down the road straight at you marks you as a tourist, and even then a REAL madrileño would probably find some way to dodge under the wheels and save a cool 2 seconds on their commute. Apparently, this is not true in Germany.

Jorge: You crossed the street!
Allison: Yeah, no one was coming. Come on, slowpokes! I am madrileña and impatient!
Juan: You don't cross the street when the light is red.
Allison: Why not? What are they gonna do, fine me?
Jorge: Yes.
*crickets chirp*
Allison: What the hell.

We didn't take many pictures in Konstanz, either. More of the same - running in and out of churches, wandering down streets looking at buildings, being ridiculous. It was Lindau redux, except without the islandy part of the story (we were still on the lake, though. Oh, Bodensee! I miss you). So then we hopped in the car and headed off to

Luzern, Switzerland

which was so incredible it deserves its own entry written sometime before 3am, how did I suddenly get so tired. Good night.