I Love Teeth
Personally, I cannot wait until Rick Santorum's man-on-box-turtle nuptial dystopia comes to pass, because when it does, I will be ready and waiting on the steps of City Hall with $20 and this:
I think we all know about my unhealthy obsession with dental hygiene products, but I am exaggerating 0% when I say that I am willing to bind myself in holy matrimony with Reach Dentotape. It's so big and fluffy and thorough - I feel like I'm flossing with a disposable, mint-flavored, plush teddybear.
And nothing is better for marrying than mint teddybears.