Truly, Television Corrupteth the Youth of Today

The following are phrases uttered by five intelligent young college students (and recent graduates), of attitudes ranging to the very- to moderately-socially liberal, while watching the runaway Fox hit 24.

"SHOOT HIM!"

"No, you don't need to get information from him, SHOOT HIM!"

"HE'S A FREAKING TERRORIST, JUST SHOOT HIM!"

"Ok, then torture him!"

"Clearly, the more you torture people the more quickly they turn good. This show has found the solution to all our standing problems with national security."

"Doesn't matter that she died; she was old, and the old are a drain on society anyway."

" " " " " " " " crazy " " crazy " " " " " "

"We have learned from this show that the only people to be trusted are white males; everyone else is a terrorist or in league with same."

"Slap her, Jack Bauer."

"Oh, Jack Bauer, call my name; you're so hot."

"Holy CRAP, he just SNAPPED THAT GUY'S NECK. Can you - can we rewind? Rewind, I want to see that again."

"Oh my god, that made me horny."
"You mean when Curtis killed that dude by turning his head around backward?"
"Yes. Yes, that's what I mean."
"You're the kind of person for whom they make crush porn."

"So how are they supposed to find the terrorist in that crowded office building?"
"Racial profiling."
"But that's wrong!"
"Aaron, the dude's first name is Habib and they have no physical description of him. The only way to win this game is by playing 'spot who's brown'."

My name is Allison Clarke! I am a staunch feminist, a pacifist, and a rabid opponent of racial stereotyping! Goodnight!