My Tuition! Is Still High! But Maybe Now Justified!

I am now an official hypocrite. Well...hey! stop laughing! more of a hypocrite.

Last week I was on the receiving end of one of these bad boys. 30 gig. Black. Video.

Yes, video! It plays videos! By which I mean it has Star Trek on it now and I wander around happily and listen to Star Trek all the time. I don't even need to watch the show, really. I know what's happening. In fact, I bet you could find me any TNG episode ever made, whether I've seen it or not, and, given the soundtrack, I could construct a reasonably accurate storyboard. I include blocking, facial expressions, and VERY DRAMATIC CLOSEUPS OF KEY CHARACTERS BEFORE COMMERCIAL BREAKS WHOOOO!

Holy crap though, my iPod, it is so pretty. I have spent a lot of money on episodes of Battlestar Galactica to watch on it. You will like it too, and so I have come up with the following proposal: whosoever shall take and love my fish while I am in the Peace Corps (because that will still happen despite the fact that I am nervous NOSHUTUPITWILL) shall also receive Sir Pod. I might want it back when I get back? if it still works? but probably not, and that wouldn't be a good enough reason for you not to beat the hell out of it while you had it. I think this is a good deal! You should consider it. The only possible drawback is that the battery power leaves something to desire. It's perfectly good for audio, but it caps out at 3 eps of TNG before it craps out on me for video. The backlighting, you know. Anyway, think about it. Oh, and also be forewarned that owning this bad boy will automatically put you out like a billion dollars on iTunes, because you won't be able to resist, especially if you are all looking for Trinity-type songs to play at work. Especially, um, Michael Jackson? you will buy a lot of Michael Jackson. And then you will try to dance. It won't turn out well.

SO LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE! LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PEACE CORPS! LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS LADY WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE A DOCTOR AND HASN'T SENT ME MY FORMS BACK YET! TWO MONTHS LATER! LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW THIS IS MAKING ME SHRILL AND NERVOUS! We can also talk about the assumption you might have that doctors are supposed to be more responsible than the general populace because they hold your fragile bodily functions in their sure, tender hands. Let me be the first to disabuse you of that notion, because it is totally incorrect. Doctors, apparently, feel absolutely no responsibility to you! Huh. How bout that. Maybe you should stop paying them and see how they feel then.

I will drop my normally affected hilariousness to let you in on a little secret: this is terrifying me. What if she doesn't send me the things I need? What if she does send them, but it's too late, so I can't get accepted to the program? What if she sends things and they're wrong so I have to get them sent back and forth and back and forth? What if this one tiny little thing ends up messing up my life? Could I SUE HER? Sue her for breach of human responsibility?

And then comes the complication that I turned in my Teach for America application Friday night. Teach for America is the Harvard of service post-undergrad programs (13% acceptance rate! that sounds familiar to me!). There are Rhodes scholar TFA students, ok? So it's not like I expect to get in (though it would be nice, and I would really appreciate an interview, ok guys thanks!). But should I wow the interview peeples and get a placement (no will not happen, but still), they need you to answer right away. So what if I haven't heard back from the Corps yet because of this form and that happens? What will I do?

HOLY CRAP DELVE DEEPER INTO MY NEUROSES

And then behind that is this tiny gnawing wondering of which I'd really rather do, really. My whole outsideness is gunning for the Corps, of course, because of reasons blah, but there's this tiny little inside part that is saying to me "look. It's the same job, more or less. And here's the thing - we want a home. We're sick of feeling itinerant. We haven't been at peace anywhere in almost ten years now, and we want a kitten and some kitchen gear and one nice knife. Corps is nice, but it's not a home you can carry. TFA you can bring with you if you leave. We want that", and I am listening to it, because it is right. So, I don't - I am conflicted, and it is making me in a bad mood all the time. And thesis is still only 15 pages, and the Trinity box was $100 short last night and I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT MONEY IS GOING and all these things together made it very hard for me to sleep last night. And I'm still not writing thesis right now? and I have this presentation tomorrow? and oh god everybody I'm kind of a basketcase. I mean, I'll be fine, I'm not an actual basketcase, I'm like a...metaphorical metaphorical basketcase. That's two steps of ok. Like extra cheese!

OK GOALS WILL MAYBE HELP? AND I HAVE A COUPLE FUN LINKS!

First, qwantz is my new favorite comic. You might not get it, because I'm really not sure if it's actually funny to anyone but me. I'm thinking no.

Girls Are Pretty reliably makes me happy. It's supposed to be that weird, yes.

Aaron showed me Walk Smash Walk this weekend and it is keeping me going. I Love Death is also very good.

Now goals:

I will get up early tomorrow morning to prepare for this presentation.

By the end of tomorrow I will have finished Theology of the Icon and Painter's Guide, if I've gotten it, edited the pages left over from last week, and written two more pages. Yes, I can do this. Also will have gone to the drugstore to buy lipstick. Also will not have blown off Firefly Mondays for the second consecutive week.

I will show up for senior photos on Wednesday with makeup on.

I will schedule a thesis meeting this week for next week. I will have at least 25 pages for that meeting. yes, I will. I can do that.

I will not regret spending $10 on this Imogen Heap CD because it's good.