Monday, March 07, 2005

Ze Liztz, Zey Are ZO Lazt Zeazon

I know it's been all "done", but I found a "you know you're from Buffalo..." list and I think some of the things are funny. Some of them are dumb, and so I have excised them, because IT'S MY BLOG AND I CAN DO WHAT I WANT.

You know you're from Buffalo, according to these people, if:

You can pronounce Scajaquada, Cheektowaga, and Depew. (Bonus points if you call Cheektowaga CHEEKTAVEGAS.)

You use "the" before names of highways (they don't do that everywhere? Because seriously, if someone referred to the 90 without the "the" I wouldn't know what they were talking about).

You break out the shades and shorts when the temperature goes higher than 50 for the first time of the year (or, if you're like me and Jess Gurney, you have contests to see who can wear shorts for the longest - she got to December 14th and snowing one year, I think).

You flinch when you hear the words "wide right" (*flinch*).

You go to Niagara Falls for outlet malls and pizza, not the falls themselves (what, we have a wonder of the world there? huh. go figure).

***set of three***
You think the word "Lesbos" refers to another diner they're setting up on Elmwood/
When someone says "family restaurant" you think of "The Olympus", "The Acropolis", or "The Aegean", not Denny's/
You have a favorite Greek restaurant (if you don't have a favorite Greek restaurant, boy howdy had you better have a favorite Greek..ME, damn it, I'm referring to ME).

You order loganberry or Vernors with your pizza (logan...berry...*drool*)

You get really excited on your 19th birthday (go figure, Canada's good for something!)

You've ever crossed an international border for Chinese food.

Half of your friends moved to Charlotte and the other half are in Raleigh (ha! HAHAHAHA!...*guilty*).

***set of three***


You think you're paying outrageously high taxes to subsidize the New York City subway system/
You think you're paying outrageously high electricity bills to subsidize cheap electricity in New York City/
You think you're still paying tolls on the Thruway to subsidize repairs to expressways in New York City (so true).

Your parents ever threatened to send you to "Father Baker's" (dude, I knew kids who WENT to Father Baker's...and they scare me...)

You have the phone numbers to more than five pizzerias on speed dial (I HATE NORTH CAROLINA AND DOMINOS, I WANT REAL PIZZA).

You immediately change the channel when you hear the dreaded words "Hi! this is Goldie Gardner ..." (I went to elementary school with her son...I always felt bad for him).

You bake with soda and drink pop (self-explanatory).

You live within walking distance of a bowling alley (or were on the women's bowling team in high school and got your varsity letter for it...booyah).

You know which West Side pizzeria is a reputed Mafia front (is it LaNova???? Is it is it is it????).

Your idea of "doin' donuts" doesn't involve the glazed ones with sprinkles, but rather a rear wheel drive vehicle and a shopping mall parking lot (so many wasted afternoons).

You don't know what the hell Taco Bell is, but you can find your way to a Mighty blindfolded (MIGHTYYYYYY!).

You take real chicken wings, hot dogs and pizza back down to Charlotte after a visit home to Buffalo (sigh. Someone must act as my wing mule from now on, please).

Have I bored you all now? FAN TASTIC. My work here is done. Except it's not, because I have one last one of which I am ABSOLUTELY guilty:

You move to Charlotte, and say the following to your new friends:
  • "back home, ya'cud get a case of Labatts fer twelve bucks!"
  • "back home, ya'cud get a house like this fer only 80K!"
  • "back home, ya'cud get a large cheese and pepperoni pizza fer seven bucks!"
  • "back home, da' bars close at four in da' morning!"
  • "you call dis snow?"
  • "you call dis cold?"
  • "you call dis a supermarket?"
  • "you call dese wings?"
  • "you call dis pizza?"
  • "you call dis Italian food?"
  • "you call dese taxes high?"
  • "you call dese gas prices high?"
  • "they're closing the schools for dis?"
  • (I add: "you call this a TACO?!")

8 Comments:

Anonymous Craig said...

Got news for ya kiddo... we ain't got decent tacos here. There isn't a single REAL mexican food joint in Buffalo. (Supposedly there is one decent new one in West Seneca or something.)

I mourn the loss of Pepitos in Berkeley.

We did have a decent Burrito place for a short while, Edritos, in the little old place Panos started out in, but they didn't last long. Its now a place called "Felafel Bar."

3/07/2005 2:35 AM  
Blogger Carrie Kelley said...

I have to agree with Allison- I miss Mighty Taco!

3/07/2005 12:38 PM  
Blogger Rita Xavier said...

There is a definite dearth of Greek restaurants out here in the Bay Area. Makes me hungry just thinking about it. I read in the paper about a "hole in the wall" Greek restaurant in Orinda that I might check out. Inexpensive, too.

There are many more in Buffalo that you didn't list. Makes that city a great place for dining out.

3/07/2005 1:44 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

They're not decent tacos, they're amazing fake tacos. Different.

3/07/2005 4:48 PM  
Anonymous Craig said...

True, Allie. And I had two SuperMightys just this past Friday!

hmmmm. Now I'm thinking I may have to walk down to Jim's Steakout for a taco tonight. (Mighty Taco left the Elmwood area many years ago)

3/07/2005 7:29 PM  
Blogger Allison said...

Eat an Avenue sub or six in my honor.

3/07/2005 8:31 PM  
Blogger Chris Clarke said...

I got Greek restaurants where I work, Mom. And Pakistani and Afghan and Lebanese and Vietnamese and and and.

3/07/2005 11:41 PM  
Anonymous Craig said...

Whenever Dad comes to drop off my monthly allowance from my SSI check, or prescriptions or whatever, he always kind of hesitates and stands around hoping I'll say "have you had lunch yet?" so he can have an excuse to walk over to Mykonos. I think he actually looks forward to it. If not for that he's probably never agree to run my errands.

Truth is, I usually look forward to it too. It's the only time I ever get to even eat at any of the restaurants I'm surrounded by. I'm going over budget every month on food even with eating at soup kitchens and going to the food pantry.

3/08/2005 4:35 AM  

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